I have no idea what I am doing here - so feel free to giggle at my trial and error :) These blogs will be a bit messy I think while I figure out the scope of the project ...
If you are wondering what I am talking about, see The Paganesque Moon Project here.
Yesterday was a really draining day for me. I've been studying for a very long time, and it feels like I keep going around in circles, and will never finish. I've heard on the grapevine how hard it is to find work in my chosen profession, and I worry that it won't happen for me. I worry that I have wasted the last 12 years of my life. That no one will hire me and I will never be more than what I am now.
It sounds ridiculous when you actually voice something like this!
I also struggle with my weight. Ever since I've had children, I've yo-yo'd and I feel like a failure. I've seen other people around me who have lost 50kgs and I ask myself, why cant I do it? I don't know. I'm trying again tomorrow! (Yes, I have reached the point where I don't believe myself anymore)
So last night, I decided to do a little ritual and a tarot reading for myself. I also did a 3 card oracle reading. I love my cards :) They bring me comfort. They make me giggle. And they encouraged me to keep going!
Beforehand, I went out to look at the moon, Well being the Dark/New Moon, there was nothing to see, so I looked at the stars. It felt good. Everything seems so insignificant. I closed my eyes and visualised a light coming from the sky, through my crown, down my body into the Earth, and I began to chant. It felt like the gunk was dripping away :) I'm glad I did it.
ok - so reflecting on Moonflower's daily moon phase post - the New Moon is now in Leo and Mars has moved into Scorpio.
* creative self expression and children
A few things came up - now is a good time for creative endeavours - I have a website in the planning stages- I wish I could devote more time to it, but Uni really needs to come first this week :)
Spending time with children and building relationships is important too - I didn't get much time with the kids today since I've been working and so absorbed with Uni. I then came to the realisation that one child hadn't practised her violin enough this week, and the other child is still waiting for me to finish reading a book to them. I really need to stop putting off time with them for other things, but other things are so pressing - I think I need to prioritise this month. I'll spend time with them tomorrow.
*important endeavours bringing lasting changes
Tomorrow is Monday, which means I start my diet again. I will start with breakfast. And drink lots of water :) My bestie is finishing up her diploma in personal training or whatever they call it (yep, I'm a great friend ;p) so I'm trying to rope her into cheap training sessions :) Hopefully we can start that this week ... and I will get stuck into Uni. Start a 9-5 habit of no facebook :)
* good day for not taking things seriously
I worked today - I don't think I take things seriously enough. I tend to craqck jokes around the others, trying to lighten moods or enjoy serving customers. The only people who don't like my jokes tend to be the store managers I work for lol.
* lessons of mars - a ceasefire in a relationship?
Now here is something interesting - there is a person at work, who is new, but I get a really competitive vibe today. She is only 17, so I'm not going to get into a battle of wits - I've already won lol because I'm awesome. But I did offend her, so today I apologised ... and later I found out she is a Scorpio.
God.
Mars has gone into Scorpio lol. I'm an Aries. How the heck am I going to get along with a Scorpio? I'm fire, she is water. I'm old, she is young. I'm honest and open, she is guarded. I'm over it already - she'll will probably hold a grudge :) And sting me. And I will butt against her shell - killing with kindness and awesomeness.
Meh.
***Tarot for the Day ***
I decided to pull a tarot card and an Oracle card to reflect on the day. I pulled the Death card! hahaha. Yes yes, it is all about change and transformation. Maybe this is it. Letting go of the old and bringing in the new. makes sense, when we have a new moon and Im trying to shed the old, unworkable parts of me :) I drew Aine from the Goddess Guidance cards: all about taking a leap of faith and trusting the Universe. Everything will be ok. Great. Needed to hear that!
As an amusing asider, I had a reading done on my career prospects which I received today - according to the reader, my future happy profession (that would be for my highest good, make me happy etc) would be as a counsellor/medium-psychic...
Cool. I'm afraid of financial stability though.
Ok, I think I have gone on enough... it's almost midnight, which means I am off to bed, after saying good night to the Moon <3
<3
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